Posted in #life, #void, Lost love, Writing

Is it The End?

8C11E43F-42B5-4778-84F6-A0A03784EAC4.jpeg

This is the letter to you. A letter I won’t send.

And in the end finally you left. Not like I didn’t know it will
Happen but I was running away from it from so long. I was lost in that last song.
I was dreading the moment I will hear those words but who is to blame. All these months you from the other end were holding on the rope weren’t you? Or it was me all this time? Loosing myself in your game.
Why? Is all I can ask. You were my everything and you knew that so well. You still are but I won’t tell you this again. I have lost all my energy now in loving you and your memories. Yes you are my memory. A happy and a sad. Reminiscence of all that was between us safe in my heart forever. I believed in you all this while. But you were not there. The moment you left me was my answer, but I kept on holding that rope for so long. There was a bridge between us. You were on the other end and you weren’t even looking at me while I was trying to cross and I was looking at you but it was all in a haze. I thought you are there
For me to hold my hand and I kept on walking towards you not really knowing that it was broken. I fell. I fell so deep. It hurts. I fell in that maze.
Your last words are in my ears. Your all the words are actually. You are. The whole of you is in me. You are gone from
My life but this mark you have left on my soul won’t leave ever.
Not that I want it to.
I loved you. I still do. With whatever I had. With all of that I still have. And it will be forever.
But I won’t beg you anymore to stay, No.
You are better gone. Yes I am in this abyss right now and you have moved on.
I will climb though, to the other side. I will not keep looking for you anymore.
I am exhausted. And sometimes I can not breathe. You were beats to my heart. You were my oxygen.
You are my only. I don’t want to open the doors of my heart for anyone.
They are closed for now. Or forever.
You will live here in my heart. The wounds you have given me will stay and they will bleed I know, they will bleed never to heal. But that’s okay. I will live and love them.
Like I will live without you. Like,
I will love you without you.

The Lost Soul.

PS: This Lost Soul was actually Lost these days and still is. Somethings happened and I am trying to keep myself alright but it’s hard. But I guess whatever happens happen for a reason right. I am hoping that too.

Advertisements

Author:

A simple one with complicated thought process ..I write to seek answers, I write to seek what is missing. I write because it makes me calm. I write because I am not completely lost,not yet found. I, am wandering. Writing comes naturally, in the heat of most passionate moments, either of happiness or utter sadness.

127 thoughts on “Is it The End?

  1. Priya ❤ I am so sad to know you are in this position right now. It hurts as hell, but you will feel better as soon as you are ready to let go. Go out for a walk, visit your favourite garden, treat yourself to a movie or a book that takes you to another world. If you are into sports or running, dive into that. It helps me so much every time my heart aches. Words are not always enough. I hope you recover soon. Know that you have a listening ear this way if you want to share and change your mind.
    Many, many hugs x

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I ache for you. After reading all your heartache, your words moved me to be silent for a while… loss like this is hard to take. But, well, I just saw a video by Kyle Cease where he said to a man something like ‘so you walk up to a woman and show interest and ask her out, and she says no. Don’t feel rejected and sad and despondent. Feel glad that she has ruled herself out from your list of people who might help you be happy.’ I’m paraphrasing, but I think what he meant was though it may hurt, had this man stayed it may have hurt more and more all the time.

    I don’t want to get all Pollyanna on you, though. I know it hurts. You have all of us to support you!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know you are there. Everyone is so supporting here.
      I don’t know how much time it will take me to cope up and climb but I am trying.
      I am glad it wasn’t too late. Thank you for always being here friend. You are a sweetheart ❤️

      Like

  3. You know love hurts. When you give everything to them and all they return is a broken heart. Priya I don’t know much the matter but I can feel the pain. Be strong. 🙂 Sending you a virtual hug. ♥ I hope you get healed soon. Sooner or later things get well. If not we learn to kive like that. 🙂 Smile and let go pain. I know it’s not easy but I trust you and you will

    Liked by 1 person

  4. This is the most deeply moving article I’ve read on your blog. It teared me up. Love is the deepest of human emotions and it’s divine because it creates infinite universes and sparks infinite hearts. Nobody else can truly understand what you’ve been going through. Being with your pain would heal you even if you feel you would never heal. Pain indicates that healing energy is in work and it’s a process. It’s good that you’re very deeply in it. Pray for yourself, for your beloved and your friends as it would open your heart even more. You’re not a lost soul because you have so much love in your heart. You’re home. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Hey Priya, off late I am not writing anything and neither I am checking my comments section as I don’t feel to. I have accepted this black spot now and I am pretty okay now.
    Acceptance us the key I guess.
    Sending you love and power.

    It’s never an imperative step to always rise but always necessary that well should learn and wait and then rise.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. What is human kind, if we are not there for each other.Words can heal in the absence of physical presence. And its just word, u dont have to thank me for that. Hoping this loss is just the beginning of a great gain in your life. Take care and vent out your emotions in your writing and find relief from the pain.

        Liked by 1 person

      1. Even though I’m not in your place so I can’t possibly understand the depth of your pain but trust me, it gets better Priya. It may be a bit distorted to you now but, there are always people around you who care about you. Let your frustrations out by confiding in someone you’re close with ❤

        Liked by 1 person

  6. My beautiful heart-sister.

    The pain will heal, although you’ll always remember it. The memory of it, will shield you and serve as a beautiful, loving armour, as you become a stunning warrior poet, ready to pour your love onto the bravest, most deserving Prince of your heart 💙

    Liked by 1 person

      1. My sweet…I wish I had the answers for you. All I can say is sometimes, as awful as our experiences are, as painfully as they tear at our heart, they make us who we are. Beauty comes from pain sometimes, as does compassion, empathy, love and appreciation. I know none of these things matter when you’re hurting and it seems like every one else is happy and in love but pain does go. And it does let you things…your poetry is stunning and you magnetise the people around you with your heart that you bear on the page.
        So, don’t despair. You are worth much more and you’ll have all the happies you deserve. 💙

        Liked by 1 person

  7. Oh I’m sorry Priya. I get the idea how you’re feeling. Life must go on, sometimes we believe that a thing is good for us while it isn’t., and sometimes we hate something while it is good for us, God knows and we don’t . Maybe it was for the best. It hursts, it rips our heart apart but perhaps life will give you something more valuable. Just wait…. one day you’ll feel free from these torn days and you’ll be happy with the one you’ll haven’t known yet. Cheer up, you’re beautiful, you’re smart…. keep going dear

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Priya, this was sad and touching. Just this morning, I got an email from a dear blogging friend who told me memories are never to be trusted, and now is all that matters. Here’s sending you some of the light I have been getting, hoping you come out of the abyss and see yourself in a new light. Praying for you, dear P. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  9. It’s beautiful and drenched in emotions. Sending lots of love and positive vibes your way. Hope you get through whatever you’re going through. Sooner than soon. Much power to you. Because no problem can be bigger than you. ❤️

    Liked by 3 people

    1. Thank you thank you David. I am grateful for your words and your support and all the support I had here from the start.
      Thank you again. I am trying to walk these dark paths to come into the light.

      Like

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s