Posted in #life, #Poetry, Writing

Father’s Love

His love is not expressed
All the words that aren’t said
But there are ways so many
Unlike a mother
Father doesn’t hug so much
Still he carries an ocean of love
He just doesn’t know
How to tell it all
He is not there when you look around
And he surely doesn’t wipe up the tears
But he is the wall
He makes sure you stay tall
He doesn’t let you know
But he is always there to catch
In case you fall
And he lets you never
He teaches you to rise,
and as mothers
Fathers are affectionate as well
His love is as boundless as hers
And as immense
Sometimes more
Only if he knew how to convey
But you don’t need words to know
If you see in the depth of his eyes
He carries colossal of love
He just doesn’t know
His love is silent
But there are ways so many
Mother is the sky of our life
Father is the solid ground
We sustain on
So what if he doesn’t say it much
He loves from all of his heart
And so much more
His love is enormous
Yes, he doesn’t know
The ways to communicate
But don’t we know
Father’s love is as such.

©thelostsoul_writes

Posted in #blogging, #life, #Poetry, Writing

A Virtual Life

While there’s enough noise
The silence is creeping
There are followers
And no friends
We are following and being followed
Rather than knowing and to be known
Everyone’s keen to see
The inside of each other’s life
To just have a piece of buzz
A lots of likes on smiling pictures
And the layers,
No one’s interested what’s underneath
Or in the eyes,
Everything is so superficial
And all the words fake
We have come so closer
And grown so apart
A lot to say in the disappearing story
What’s in the heart remains unheard
We are in each other’s chats and DMs
But no heart felt conversations
There’s a life we all want to live
And no one’s really alive
Just fulfilling the requirements
Breathing and existing
Why someone’s death
Makes us realize
That we need to live?
And why are we not together
Living with each other
Listening
Sharing
Caring and understanding more
And tagging less?
Why can we not for once
Be with someone in actuality
Than merely existing
On each other’s pages of Virtuality.

@thelostsoul_writes

IMAGE CREDIT: Google

Posted in #life, #Poetry, Writing

Darkness


The darkness is staring back

Gawking at the silence
There is no sign of life
Just the storm and destruction
Amidst the chaos
Finding nothing but nothingness
Hollow shadows
And more of numbness
Just like the burning wax
Emotions melting down
Entering the void more and more
Falling down the bottomless depth
Impassable road
Light appears on all sides
Seems forbidden to touch
It appears more and more far
Away and away
Life is not there
Just the empty space
From where it stares me
And scares me
The darkness staring
Blank as it appears
Just as the life
And all the while
It appears I was not gone
Beneath waters
It was all about the mirrors
All around
Outstaring deep in my eyes
It was all me
I can see the blackness
And the white too
It is not the two of them
The white and the black
The dark stays with the light
It stares back
Knit together
From eternity to beyond
From nothing to nothingness
I see that and it does too
The darkness
It stares back

As long as I see.

@thelostsoul_writes

Posted in #life, #Poetry, Love

Chimera???

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You followed my dream last night
Cradled in your arms,
We were together yet again,
In the rhythms of the song
Your breaths played on my skin
I felt solace,
With my head on your heart
Your warm embrace
I smiled,
Looking at your eyes
As you kissed mine
You held me so close
As if you were always here
Never gone,
Whispering in my ears
Sweet words of love
That’s all I ever want to hear
You asked me to sleep,
Cuddled in your arms
I slept peacefully,

And I dreamt of you,
Entwined together
You kissing, the sleeping me
And you are holding my hands,
All the promises of forever
Walking on the shore,
We are watching the waves,
You picked me in your arms
You are all smiles
A sweet nudge on my nose,
I am losing in you,
And in the captivating breeze,
Looking at the sun,
All the colors in the horizon fade away,
And the day turned into night,
Still clung to your arms,
In symphony of our hearts,
I slept,
You followed my dreams,

Now, I am all lost,
I don’t know
What’s dream? Or real anymore,
That is what your love has done to me
That I never want to wake up
From this trance I am in
I kept falling in the hypnosis
As if your love is the abyss,

Getting pulled towards you
Like a magnet
You followed me in my dream,
Last night,
Or this? Previous one
Or the next?
I have lost all connection,
With my existence or sensibility
This world I made with you
This world that is you,
You are here? Are you?
Tell me please,
Is this real?
Or Chimera?

@thelostsoul

Image: Google

Posted in #blogging, #life, Self love, Strength, Writing

To Love the one…that is you!!

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There are so many moments in our life that make us feel it’s over, like there is nothing beyond this pain and hurt. This darkness takes over and everything seems blank. The feeling of emptiness, a hollowness which can’t be filled and every little thing frustrates to the core. Things which made us happy before hurt us now.
Loneliness! A feeling that there’s no one for us, and we are all alone in this world, left to bear that pain everyday, when we open our eyes and every night lying on the bed, closed eyes, there’s this feeling to end all of this torment right and then.

This feeling!!!!

We all have felt that way, at some point of time in life we all have this feeling. Alone! I felt that. Still feel that, days in a row when I want to just go somewhere, where I don’t get hurt again, where I don’t cry, where I can smile. Moments when I need someone to be with me, we all want that right? To have someone who can just embrace us with our flaws and love our scars and make us whole?
Those moments in which we feel so weak and we are so down, heart full of hurt and mind full of anger and pain.

Why do we feel this?

The root of all the sufferings is attachment. I never realised this until I experienced this in my life, we get attached and then without even knowing we start expecting that same attachment from the other person. Expectation doesn’t hurt, but expecting from the wrong person does. Even a person isn’t wrong or right, when we get attached to someone, we can’t expect from the other person to reciprocate the same.

What I am implying with all of this?

Love the one that is you!!

Although I need to learn this myself, and I am learning this everyday, the cardinal thing in life we all need to learn is to love this one person in our life who is most important, and that is US. We need to learn to love ourself and live for ourself.
To accept that it’s only us who can be there for us and no one else will be. We aren’t alone ever, we always have us, ourself.We don’t need anyone to get dependent on, just faith and believe in ourself.
To learn that we don’t need anyone to make us feel whole because we are never incomplete, we are complete on our own. We don’t need to find happiness in someone else, it’s within us, we just need to explore it and accept that we can be happy on our own as well. Yes, we all feel shattered and broken, but that’s okay, to be broken means we can heal.
To know that, the home we try to find or built in someone else is not to be found because it’s there in you!! Look deep within in your heart. Pull yourself up and smile, because that’s what we need to do. Smile and face the world and accept the truth,
Love isn’t something we need to find in someone else, it’s there within you.
It’s difficult but it’s the only truth!! That someone is always you and no one else!!

@thelostsoul

Image: google

Posted in #blogging, #life, #Poetry, Writing

Do you???

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What am I trying to find? In this world, among this chaos. What is that is not complete and I want to make it whole so bad? And why? Why can’t I let it be like it is?
Why everything need an ending , a closing. Why when something change it hurts.
There are so many why and no answer. Or there is an answer and I can’t find.
What is the point of existing? What is that I am searching? Why is this sadness? What is that keeps on lingering beyond the hurt? There is this emptiness. A void that can’t be filled, this voice that is unheard. Am I the only one hollow? Or you feel this vacantness too?
Is it just me or you think it too? Am I the only one or you looking for a path too? This pain, Only I feel this or you suffer from it too? Only I am the one with questions or you are finding answers too?

I wonder if we all feel the same?
Are we all lost? Or just wander..
That I wonder!!!
That I wonder?

@thelostsoul

Image: Google

 

Posted in #life, #Poetry, Strength, Writing

She…The immortal Her…

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She is still
But that darkness within her
Screams,scream, screaming

That chaos inside
Screeches, screeching
She stares in the silence
Towards nihility
Blank,black gazing in nothingness

Something within her
Engulfs her and her thoughts
Deluge,deluging in hurt

She is still
That rage of emotions
Pulling her inside
Her storm boiling within
Towards the mountain and to her
Oscillating between

She is still
Like a calm sea
Before the arrival of tsunami
Her heart shuddering

Shivering
With the emptiness
Empty,empty,emptying

She is still
But she smiles
Mixed with the agony
She survives the suffering
She no more laments
But with the open arms
She embraces the hurt
That lava of anguish
No more kills her
She won’t sink
She dives deep within
The abyss of pain
And she rise
For now she know
How to emerge!!

She becomes the storm
She rules the darkness
With her chaos
She isn’t still anymore
She isn’t calm like that ocean
For she becomes the Destruction
She is the raging ocean
She isn’t still
She moves with the waters
Ruling the tides
She isn’t still
She isn’t still….

The Lost Soul

Image: Google

Posted in #blogging, #life, A girl’s life, Being a girl, Woman, Writing

Woman: A Bleeding Marvel!

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Mom what are periods?”
Asked a 13 year old.
(Looking puzzled)
“You will know when its time”
Answered the mother perplexed with a simple question.

This is not so common now a days but still a common scenario of every second household. I know this because I asked that question to my mom once and I got the same answer.
Although I already got to know about it from my friends I still wanted to ask that from my mother,Her not answering actually reflects the mindset of typical Indian females about menstruation.

What Menstruation or periods in simple term are?

After a certain age, a girls body start to have certain biological changes. After every 28 days or so, the uterus sheds the extra tissue lining which is formed for the egg to fertilise. And
Then bleeding stays for 5 to 7 days.
There is nothing mysterious that is happening In a girl’s body. And every girl must know about this from the very start.

Menstruation is a normal biological process that is as necessary as breathing or existing because that makes a girl a woman or wonder because it gives a woman power to create another life form. Isn’t this the most fascinating thing?
Then why is it not talked about or why people aren’t open about it or why people are disgusted about periods.

Afemale bleeds for 5 days and still carry herself, isn’t this astounding?

Not only mothers, why aren’t fathers concerned with this? Why not brothers are taught about this? Why not all the boys are taught about this wonderful process?

Why periods are still a taboo?

People In a family dread to talk about periods. Due to various illogical and non sense reasons periods are considered impure or when a girl is on her periods she is unclean. The blood stain if seen is considered dirty and fill the girl with shame? And why? Beliefs that are just imposed upon from ages. Connecting periods with religion and culture make it difficult to talk about.

It’s nothing to be discreet about!!!

Periods are something to be celebrated but because of people’s unawareness even girls feel ashamed of the fact that they bleed. It affects the girl’s mind not about just menstruation but her body too.
And it can impact on their sexuality as well.

The point I want to stress upon here is that menstruation should be discussed openly so that every father, every brother, every Friend, every husband and every son know the fact that how much a woman go through, and how it is just periods and nothing to be ashamed of and when In need they know what and how to help the woman in their life.

Give her comfort and a smile!

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So that No girl is ashamed to talk about her biological cycle, or hides the pad inside her bag, or is not apprehensive of buying pads from a male, so that every girl can feel comfortable with her being herself.

Yes, we bleed and yes somehow this humanity is existing because of the fact that a girl bleeds.

The Lost Soul

image: Google

Posted in #blogging, #life, Self love, Strength, Writing

Perfectly Flawed

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“She got that sexy figure”
“Oh her perfect curves”
“Eww! How could be anyone that thin?!”
“She needs to workout on her”
“Oh! How fair she is”
“Will you ever get someone? With this complexion of yours? “

These are few of the random things knowingly or unknowingly, intentionally or unintentionally we speak or hear or use. There’s a thin line between complimenting and commenting and people often forget that.

I have been dealing with inferiority complex issues all my life. And then anxiety due to that, Not feeling happy in my skin. I always had problems with how I look or my complexion or my hair or my weight and somehow it was all connected with the fact that I often heard such expressions around me, for me,and it started to creep in my personality. I always thought I am not good enough.

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I am not here to talk about my problem or my issues or to discuss about body shaming but their were so many thoughts in my mind and I just felt like sharing them here.

Beauty is something over rated in our society from centuries and is mostly connected to the second sex, yes that’s what we were called, females.
And we girls often just give in to this thing which we are taught from the beginning like being a girl we have to look pretty all the time. We just start believing in what is there already  and we are never taught to question it.
I am not denying that males aren’t body shamed but not as much as a female.

Where does the problem lies?

Problem is Us believing.
Our belief  in the things which we are told about and taught. And us not questioning it. Why don’t we question why a girl need to look pretty? Why a girl with curves is sexy? Or why a girl with bigger breasts or large butts is hot? And why a girl with a tummy isn’t pretty? And why a girl with fair complexion is treated as angelic? Or why all of these are just attached with only the females?

The point I am focusing on isn’t that one should not maintain their health and fitness or look pretty, but what I mean is that it should be done but not for others and definitely not on the cost of deteriorating one’s mental health.
Girls start to have inferiority complex issues that create a deep impact on their personality from their teenage years which actually affect their lives till later stage in so many ways.
It creates complication for a girl in the personal front as a girl with such issues will always have a thought in mind Am I good enough? And questioning self worth is the worst thing a person could do to torture oneself.

What I want to focus here on is the fact that being beautiful will not have any importance unless that beauty doesn’t make you feel complete and whole in what and who you are. It won’t matter how thin or how sexy curves you have when to achieve that you lost your happiness and mental health or deprived yourself of the sleep or food that made you happy.
Everyone has flaws and the existence of humanity lies in the fact that we are tend to be flawed and no one has any right to question someone’s appearance in terms of their own set standards.
A Flaw for some may be a beauty for another.
No matter how you look, what colour your skin is or what weight you have or what size until the fact that it makes you smile  and feel comfortable and a satisfaction of you being you and that too whole.

As an individual what we need to learn is to love and accept  the fact that this is what we are and come in terms to whatever we are and embrace that. We all are just flesh and bones. Yes,being healthy is important or having curves or having or doing anything that makes you look good but only  till the point that it makes you feel cheerful  within you and your soul.

As a part of society what everyone need to learn is not to comment or compliment someone in a way that makes them think over it. That makes them question their individuality.

Being myself suffering from these issues have actually made me realise some of these things but trust me path of loving yourself isn’t easy and every day it feels like a defeat but somehow I am managing it and somehow I am moving ahead in it. I am trying to love me more and focusing on what I can do to enhance what I have and learning to love my flaws.
Because every one is flawed and that too uniquely.

Beauty is not in being just that pretty face but it is in the eyes and the smile of the soul which appears on the curves of the lips.

The Lost Soul

Image: Google and Pinterest

Posted in #blogging, #life, #Poetry, Heart, Love, Writing

In the Twilight!!!

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Come closer to listen what my soul speaks 

But my lips couldn’t…..

Bring me back to life
Give me some more breathes
Love me a little more this time
Make me alive again
This life
This heart
All I could ever give
Have it all and just love me once
Love me once more
Make this heart beat again
Hold me together
Take away this pain
I did try
I tried
Try and try
To ease this suffocation
All in vain!!
I need you more
I want you
Will you please fill this emptiness?
Or Am I destined to be drowned forever?
Will this murkiness ever fade?
Or Is It just me who have lost all colours?
Do you hear my pleas?
Or shall I screech in the silence ?
Or is It ambiguous what I say?
Am I Lost?
Will you please find a way ?
Reach out to me
Take me out of this abyss
Will you?
I am screaming
And sinking
Shrieking
And screaming
And grieving
Hold my hand once more
Take me out
Show me the dawn
Before my heart sets in the dusk
Give me a rainbow
Give me life
Oh! Please one more time!!
Before I reach the horizon
Meet me once more
Meet me there
Be my earth
Make me your sky
Show me the light
Meet me one last time
Give me some more breathes
Just hold my hand
Embosom me
Meet me there
In the rain
And in the Twilight…..

@thelostsoul_writes

The Lost Soul

Image: Fiveprime (google)

Posted in #life, #Poetry, #void, Random musings, Writing

Falling into Nihility….

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Waking up each day
With the same darkness
That keeps on emptying
Whatever that is in me
All that is left
Feeling hollow

My heart sinks within
All I can see is black
And everything else
Is just blank
All the colours faded
They are fading still
Vanishing, as in an eclipse 

Like water evaporates
Happiness is all gone
This sadness engulfs me
The clock is ticking
Tick and tock
When will it be over
It’s killing
It’s killing
Why isn’t ending?
Why am I still living?
This pain
It’s enduring
This hurt
My heart
I want to leave
It’s not going

Let it go
Let it go
This lingering pain
It won’t leave
It will stay
Night and day
My eyes
They hurt
With all the rain
Everything is blur
I can’t see the light

The light?
Follow it
The voice says
I can’t
Deeper and deeper
I sink
Crumbling down in this ocean
Oh this abyss
This void
And in this murkiness
I sleep
Only to wake up
Each day
With nothing more
But this inanition
This vacuum
How it feels in this hollowness?


Blankness gawking at me
Me looking into
This barrenness
And I see me from far ahead
Like a shadow
Staring at my life, &
There I see nothing
But nihility…..

The Lost Soul

IMAGE: The truth Ache (google)

Posted in #life, Lost love, Random musings, Writing

Scribbling Heart…

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I truly love the way you smiled, and I miss all those moments still. Each second of those nights I spent with you is captured in the eyes of my mind.

A photograph I will always keep and won’t let it fade. There is still something that is left between you and me and that is why I miss you so bad each night that it hurts and it kills. Whatever is left, I so want it to complete because I need a closing you know. The way you left kills me each moment wondering for all those answers you never gave to all those questions I wanted to ask and I never did. You and me I thought were meant to be but we weren’t and you leaving like that clearly tells me that, then why is it that my heart still beats? and it still keeps on reminding me each day of you and that love we had. The way things are right now and the way we are apart I wish it to end,really. My thoughts for you and our memories. To end it all and to end the pain. With each passing day I wish I never had met you or wish I never had loved you. But we did meet and I did love you and nothing in this world can change this. One thing I can change is my love for you. I still do love you but that’s my love to do and you have nothing to do with it. I wish you all the happiness in the world and I will let it be like that only. I will never again want to see you because I know it Deep down, if once and only once I will see you again, I will fall all over again, and you will hurt me same again and I swear to God, I am able to live right now with your thoughts but after that, that single confrontation with you,I won’t be able to carry those broken pieces again any more and that will be the end to me and I can’t let it happen, I can not let that happen again, not anymore because thought it’s late,but I have realised this that this life is precious than anything else, and I want to live and to love myself the way I loved you because I know I deserve that kind of love and it’s okay if it’s not you, that is totally fine. I wish you to be away from me and from my heart because I know the next time my heart beats with you in front, it won’t be able to leave you and I don’t want that to happen I want to love myself more than I loved you ever and I will let it happen. I am broken but I know how to pick my pieces and smile and I am doing that and will keep doing that until I feel I am not broken anymore until I feel I don’t love you any more, until I feel I don’t have to love you, until I know it’s alright not to have you  and that day and that day I will want to face you and smile, because that day I will know I can live without you, that too without being broken… until then I will keep moving ahead and not look back and not miss the way you smiled at me….the way I truly loved…And then I will look in the mirror and smile not with the lips but with the happiness in the eyes…for that is all that matters now and forever….

The Lost Soul

image: google

Posted in #life, #Poetry, #void, Heart break, Lost love, Writing

Flesh and bones

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There is nothing left
Just this blankness
And this flesh and bones
I am dead
And still I live
With nothing but
This emptiness
A clone
Of what I used to be
My heart is nothing
But a thing that beats
And that keeps
Me alive in what I thought
Was your love
But it wasn’t that
But a web of lies
And deceits..

Sitting on this rooftop
I saw beneath
And I saw myself
Lying there
Covered in something
A pool
That is red
And my lips smirk
A crooked smile
My hands shake
A cigarette lit
This darkness I see
And a puff of smoke
This white cloud I am in
Intoxicating me within
Loosing my senses
Smoking some more
Between my purple lips…

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This nothingness I feel
What are we all I think
A thing
With some flesh and bones
What we do? Except
To exist and to breathe
Loosing
Drowning
Drowning
Loosing
In this thing called love
Am I dead?
Or I live?
Flying under the thousand stars
Living again
Touching the sky
And with each smoke
That I exhale
I am scattering you too
And your memories
Smoke by smoke
Puff and some more
I burn them
Will keep doing that
Keep burning
All of it
Until there is nothing left
In my heart
Or my mind
Neither the flesh
Nor the bones…

The Lost Soul

Image:Google

Posted in #life, #void, Heart break, Lost love, Random musings, Unsent letter, Writing

Epiphany???

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To the one who isn’t anymore in my life, who deserted me in the middle, on the crossroads. I thought you and I are We, Alas! I was wrong, wrong in believing you, you and your lies.
I still try to find in each song I hear that make me wonder, where I was at fault, and why it’s just me, why am I caught?  between my heart and my mind, nothing I can find.
There comes Tsunami of immense hurt and pain whenever I see that shirt, shirt which I keep close to my heart, that still smells like you..
I still try to find you at all the places we met, for a little by chance, a glimpse I May get?
Oh then this heart realise, you aren’t here, and we are between two different time and heart zones too. My heart aches for you and it aches to know, whether you miss me too?
And I answer to this question myself, no you don’t at all, because that love was a game, and it’s days were few.
You know, there is this stark contrast between the love of us two, yours lost all the charm and mine still shines like a golden dew..
You left me in between, like rain. Like rains leave the sky, never to return, and I won’t ever be the same again, and some nights and days too I feel this urge to tell you all of these emotions and feelings and oh! then I know, you won’t listen so all of this will go in vain and still, still baby, I want to feel your touch again to melt in you, but then I know this love have already melted like the snow..
My life seems like autumn, like each leaf falling I feel myself breaking into pieces so many.
Nights like these, I wish you to come back, but you wouldn’t have left, if you were to return.
I am not sad though, nor I am broken, and I am not going to run either, from the past, or you, or the reminiscence of you or me or us.
Us? Us is in the past now and I am going to deal with it anyhow.
I will come out if this gloom, and flowers will bloom. Wounds will be healed, scar will be there and they will be there with me, till the end. They will lead me to par, with my emotions, those make me more human.
I see the sun, and I know I will shine too..
To the one who deserted me in the darkest of nights, know I no longer am afraid of this darkness, I befriended it. And I no longer feel, it should be We…
To the one who left, Thank you for you made me, Me….

@thelostsoul 

image: Google 

Posted in #blogging, #life, Love, Unsent letter, Writing

Culmination… a letter

25A714F7-34C7-4EAB-9E53-A6EACAD87EBA.jpegLoving you was the most beautiful feeling I ever had and I can not deny, it still is. Though this can not change the other fact that it is the most hurting feeling, I ever felt too. I never thought love can do so much to anyone. But you did. Feeling all those things for you did.
When I fell for you, I was on my weakest, most vulnerable. I can not say it otherwise but yes, you are the one who made me, what I am.
From my most vulnerable to what I am now, I know I have become stronger.
Always hurting me with your words, making me beg for your love, I always believed in all the lies you said, And I always cursed me, over and over again. feeling i am the one who is wrong, i never did realise it was always you.
How many nights I have cried, I don’t really know, wanting it so bad to end. Waiting for these heartbeats to stop for once and for all. How many days I tried to end this life.
But then again your love, or the love I felt for you kept me going. And I kept on loving you like this is what I am supposed to do. And it took me so long to accept this fact that am not supposed to keep begging you for that love.  I never knew I will grow out of this feeling, But I did. 
I never realised I can love you and still move ahead because to wait for you is like to wait for all the stars in the galaxy to fall and that’s never gonna happen. When in a busy day, slightest of your memory used to fill my eyes, I didn’t cry at all when you said it’s over. And last night when you called and said all those things again,
I didn’t cry at all. Not a single tear, I didn’t curse my self again, I felt a calm. When you said this is the last time, I didn’t felt anything but a peace.
And I realised I am not supposed to cry over you. To love is the most beautiful feeling one can ever have and I am glad I know that feeling so well and oh! I pity you, you won’t know it. You won’t ever.
Move on is nothing but a myth. We never really move on from the one we love. Yes, to keep the memories, cherishing them is what I Am supposed to do not crying my eyes out.
To love is what we all are supposed to do… and me for one, I am full of oceans of love and I know that, its just that now I know, I need to love myself first and foremost and no one else really matters….

@thelostsoul

(image: Google)