I keep on counting days. Not just days, I haven’t lost count of the moments I am breathing without you. Trust me it’s not easy to have a single breath without missing your words or smile or eyes or voice or all of you. I still remember the day I saw you, waiting for me, my heart skipped a beat. Oh it still beats in that rhythm. The rhyme you gave it. Yes. Still that.
It was Valentine, I thought it to be over soon. It didn’t. I missed you each second. I knew you weren’t. You won’t. Oh but my heart? It was desperately waiting for your text. Just a text. Because you don’t like calling. I waited. Waited. The moment I woke up in the morning with moist eyes, I waited till I cried myself to sleep. I hope you had a good sleep though. Or did you miss me? You probably didn’t. You never did. You never will.
I went to the same place, you took me. A wave like a tsunami hit me. Gushing memories all together like it was yesterday we were here, eyes lost in eyes, synchronising heart beats,knotted hands and hearts, you made me feel dancing butterflies. Deep blue were the skies. A blissful moment, now it was tormenting. Nothing was same. Neither you nor the moment. Except me. Still there. Lost in you. Living in the moment. Still.
I puffed in the air around me like trying to breathe in the scent of you and us from that day. And then I kept on walking my way. That’s what I have to do. Keep walking. I tried to turn and look back, then something in me said, No, don’t, it’s gone. It’s not there. Nothing is there anymore. Not you. Not the love.
I won’t run though, from all that we had. Because I still love you. I will always do. Even after whatever happened, whatever you did. I have something of you with me. Yes, the heartache and the memories.
I will keep loving you and living you,
Until the memories turn white.
Till I loose the sight. Oh dear I still haven’t lost hope. Not of you coming back, but of the believe that I will cope. With you. Your memory.
But till then, I will keep walking. Looking forward, Smiling. Without you. But with the remembrance of us.
Until some new memories aren’t made.
Till the time, I won’t fade.
The Lost Soul.
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