Posted in #life, Heart break, Lost love, Love, Unsent letter, Writing

#An Unsent Valentine letter.

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I keep on counting days. Not just days, I haven’t lost count of the moments I am breathing without you. Trust me it’s not easy to have a single breath without missing your words or smile or eyes or voice or all of you. I still remember the day I saw you, waiting for me, my heart skipped a beat. Oh it still beats in that rhythm. The rhyme you gave it. Yes. Still that.
It was Valentine, I thought it to be over soon. It didn’t. I missed you each second. I knew you weren’t. You won’t. Oh but my heart? It was desperately waiting for your text. Just a text. Because you don’t like calling. I waited. Waited. The moment I woke up in the morning with moist eyes, I waited till I cried myself to sleep. I hope you had a good sleep though. Or did you miss me? You probably didn’t. You never did. You never will.
I went to the same place, you took me. A wave like a tsunami hit me. Gushing memories all together like it was yesterday we were here, eyes lost in eyes, synchronising heart beats,knotted hands and hearts, you made me feel dancing butterflies. Deep blue were the skies. A blissful moment, now it was tormenting. Nothing was same. Neither you nor the moment. Except me. Still there. Lost in you. Living in the moment. Still.
I puffed in the air around me like trying to breathe in the scent of you and us from that day. And then I kept on walking my way. That’s what I have to do. Keep walking. I tried to turn and look back, then something in me said, No, don’t, it’s gone. It’s not there. Nothing is there anymore. Not you. Not the love.
I won’t run though, from all that we had. Because I still love you. I will always do. Even after whatever happened, whatever you did. I have something of you with me. Yes, the heartache and the memories.
I will keep loving you and living you,
Until the memories turn white.
Till I loose the sight. Oh dear I still haven’t lost hope. Not of you coming back, but of the believe that I will cope. With you. Your memory.
But till then, I will keep walking. Looking forward, Smiling. Without you. But with the remembrance of us.
Until some new memories aren’t made.
Till the time, I won’t fade.

The Lost Soul.

Image: Google( artfinder.com)

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Posted in #life, #Poetry, Heart break, Lost love, Love

Just Friends…?

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It’s not long ago
We were together
In that night club
I was drunk
So were you
We didn’t see things
As they were coming through
Intoxicating moment
Captivating you
Spellbinding eyes
Entangled fingers
Osculating lips
We were close
Connecting my soul to you
Amidst that screeching music
I heard you
Our eyes spoke
Driving me crazy
Drifting away
We vanished
In that kiss
Beyond magical
Perplexing me
I felt the tingle
In my each bone
I felt I was home
Butterflies whispering
In my heart
To the core.

Oh! But we are friends.
Aren’t we?
Are we still?
How do I tell?
How do I disclose?
My feelings changed
I fall for you
& I feel for you
Not as a friend
Anymore
I want you
For love and more
Oh baby I love you so much
I miss that touch
& I miss us
I want that time
Me in your arms
I want it to stop
I miss you each night
Waking up next, besides
Closed eyes.
But it’s all in here
Confined in my heart
I can’t tell you
Because you are a friend
Aren’t you?
But we kiss
Didn’t we?
Though I feel love
Don’t you?
Why can’t you?
Baby please
Hold me again
Embrace me
Kiss me again
Caress me
Will you please?
Baby don’t tease.

Then it’s okay
It’s okay I guess
Let’s keep it as it is
I know I will miss
You are my forever bliss.

So my love
To keep you with me
This is my only way
Let’s not end
What we have
So that we don’t end
Let’s just be friends…
Only friends.

The Lost Soul.

PS: I stumbled upon this sweet heart Regine on my blog. Kissonthewind, iamRegineNot going into details, this poem is dedicated to her & for her.

Posted in #life, #void, Heart break, Lost love, Unsent letter, Writing

Words not said… letter I won’t send..

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It’s past midnight. Sleep is far away from the eyes. There is this saturninity pulling me outside. I left my warm bed to embrace the dark night, filled with the sparkling moonlight,Moon illuminated and shining bright in the sky. It looked calm and serene. Seeing it in the night sky, I missed the night we were together. Remember how you kissed my head? Your hands around my waist bringing me closer, you blissed my lips, left me wanting for more. The moon was shining that night too. Is it the same moon that witnessed our togetherness? Don’t you miss it? Do you?

The air is cold. It’s chilling my bones to the core, Just the way your touch used to. Remember the ecstatic mornings we used to had, when in your arms, you gave me warmth making me forget the world looking into your eyes. Breathing my name on my neck. It was enchanting, you and your desires caressing my heart beats.You don’t miss my voice, do you?

I see the flickering stars. They are so far and still close to moon. Like you are and still enclose to my heart.

Don’t you miss those nights when all
We did was nothing but in each other’s arms cuddled together in the darkness of our room silently kissing each other, writing each other’s names on hearts. This night is dark too. And in the darkness of your heart you won’t ever see my face, the one you loved, will you?

There is this vastness of silence around me. And in this quiescence I hear your voice in my ears calling out to me, the same one that made me weak In my knees. Looking around I know you aren’t here but somewhere else, so far from my presence.

Birds have started to chirp. I see the sphere in different hues with the moistness in my eyes. It’s still night somewhere in my heart. Remember we saw the sun rising from the window while making love and you said this is the second Beautiful thing, I was the first. That still make me blush you know. Snuggling up to me intently, while in your sleep.I still feel that warm touch of your fingertips on my nape.Your sweet whispers in my ears, making me turn my face, looking in your eyes..You in my eyes. Lost. Loosing.Still. I lost and you win, didn’t you?

For me it will always be night. For you were my day and my light.
And seeing this moon, that’s still in the sky I know you see this moon too and we share the same sky and somehow I know my love shines like that moonlight spreading all over you and someday you will know that there is someone still loving you the same like she used to do.She still does. For my love is like this moon and this sky, like the stars. Always shining, burning bright till and beyond infinity.

But I won’t tell you all this, you don’t care. Never did. Never will. Or Do you? Will you if I tell you that I still care? Always did. Always will.

The Lost Soul.

 

Image: Google

Posted in #life, #void, Lost love, Writing

Is it The End?

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This is the letter to you. A letter I won’t send.

And in the end finally you left. Not like I didn’t know it will
Happen but I was running away from it from so long. I was lost in that last song.
I was dreading the moment I will hear those words but who is to blame. All these months you from the other end were holding on the rope weren’t you? Or it was me all this time? Loosing myself in your game.
Why? Is all I can ask. You were my everything and you knew that so well. You still are but I won’t tell you this again. I have lost all my energy now in loving you and your memories. Yes you are my memory. A happy and a sad. Reminiscence of all that was between us safe in my heart forever. I believed in you all this while. But you were not there. The moment you left me was my answer, but I kept on holding that rope for so long. There was a bridge between us. You were on the other end and you weren’t even looking at me while I was trying to cross and I was looking at you but it was all in a haze. I thought you are there
For me to hold my hand and I kept on walking towards you not really knowing that it was broken. I fell. I fell so deep. It hurts. I fell in that maze.
Your last words are in my ears. Your all the words are actually. You are. The whole of you is in me. You are gone from
My life but this mark you have left on my soul won’t leave ever.
Not that I want it to.
I loved you. I still do. With whatever I had. With all of that I still have. And it will be forever.
But I won’t beg you anymore to stay, No.
You are better gone. Yes I am in this abyss right now and you have moved on.
I will climb though, to the other side. I will not keep looking for you anymore.
I am exhausted. And sometimes I can not breathe. You were beats to my heart. You were my oxygen.
You are my only. I don’t want to open the doors of my heart for anyone.
They are closed for now. Or forever.
You will live here in my heart. The wounds you have given me will stay and they will bleed I know, they will bleed never to heal. But that’s okay. I will live and love them.
Like I will live without you. Like,
I will love you without you.

The Lost Soul.

PS: This Lost Soul was actually Lost these days and still is. Somethings happened and I am trying to keep myself alright but it’s hard. But I guess whatever happens happen for a reason right. I am hoping that too.

Posted in #Poetry, #void, Heart, Heart break, Lost love, Love

Where Ends Meet..

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Ever so Close
Still so apart
This never ending distance
Our love
This story
Still unfinished
Always Will be?

I was a Rainbow
With you
I still am,
In the night sky
I wrote our names
On the sands of time
Washed with the waves.

I still meet you
Your scent
Your memories
On the way
Getting lost
Between them
Waiting for you, Always
Me
This story
Our journey.
Will the welkin
Meet the Earth?
Will this wait ever end?

Will it be finished?

Your and my, Ours.
Love
This story.

It will be, The Day
When the sky will fall
And the two worlds will coincide
We will unite too
We will be completed
There
See love

Where the Ends meet….

The Lost Soul.

Posted in #life, #Poetry, Heart, Lost love, Love

Waiting, Aggravating.

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I breathe
Not live
Life? Have lost all its essence
Without your
Presence,
This suffocation
Of your absence
It’s stifling
You aren’t here
But I just saw you there?
There is no voice
Still I hear
Oh this silence
It’s deafening
Shattering
Pricking are the broken pieces,
Of that mirror and
Reflections of you
I see in them,
And I see you in Me
Somewhere.
I try
I run
To feel, To touch
But it’s not you
Never were
But your figment
Just a shadow
Ah! This fire
This Burn
Oh this anguish
This hurt
It’s choking me
It will kill
You buried all the vows
You took
Holding my hands
Inearth then, Me too
In the same land.
I will love you still
For my love for you is forever
Oh please my love
Do not cry ever
When I am gone
For I will still love
That Smile, oh so sweet.A Request?
If you can
Love me then, when I am not there.
Love me if you could
And see me in the memories
Like flowing river
Of the purest water
I will be there
And my love too
Floating
See me then,
Oh my love
I will be There
Waiting
Love me soon love, Please
Don’t make it Aggravating….

The Lost Soul. 

PS: I read this so amazing poem by my sweetheart Nancy, NancyBellaRose and she is so much amazing. The poem gave me goosebumps. It was in Hindi. In no way I could match her poem or it’s Essence. And in no way it’s transalation of her work, but her words struck a chord. And I wrote this. Her words were inspiration, my pain was the pen. Lots of love Nancy. Thank you so much.

Image: Google.

Posted in #life, #void, Lost love, Love, Writing

Along The Strand.

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The smile you brought
On my face with One word.
It’s gone. No curve on my lips. Your words, tickling, used to move me within. Now your memories shake me inside out.

That smile of yours, gave me shivers. How could I ever forget those spine chilling touch. It’s all an illusion now. Now that I see you from afar. Happy and living. Why can’t I? Live? It’s so hard to fight my feelings & to strive.
Because I thought you were my life.

You are happy. I wish I could be too. But how could I? Without you. You were and are my first and last wish. To lord I pray everyday, to bring you back. I try each day but I can’t live alone, Now when you are gone,
I am slipping too, my life like sand, wishing you were there to hold my hand.

Visiting the same places we went. I still look out searching for you. Though I know you aren’t here but oceans apart. You went Abandoning me, teary eyed. I am drowning in this abyss. I see the shore, but I won’t go there, I am sure? I want to drown. You were my home and now I have no one to call my own.

Or I want to move with the waves. Touching those shingles and meeting the sea. Again and again, just like our bodies used to Rhyme. I will move too Along the Strand.

Though, leaving a part of me, Always, Some in You, Some in Time.

The Lost Soul.

 

Image: Google (Towards the sun, Livemaster)