Posted in #blogging, #life, Self love, Strength, Writing

To Love the one…that is you!!

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There are so many moments in our life that make us feel it’s over, like there is nothing beyond this pain and hurt. This darkness takes over and everything seems blank. The feeling of emptiness, a hollowness which can’t be filled and every little thing frustrates to the core. Things which made us happy before hurt us now.
Loneliness! A feeling that there’s no one for us, and we are all alone in this world, left to bear that pain everyday, when we open our eyes and every night lying on the bed, closed eyes, there’s this feeling to end all of this torment right and then.

This feeling!!!!

We all have felt that way, at some point of time in life we all have this feeling. Alone! I felt that. Still feel that, days in a row when I want to just go somewhere, where I don’t get hurt again, where I don’t cry, where I can smile. Moments when I need someone to be with me, we all want that right? To have someone who can just embrace us with our flaws and love our scars and make us whole?
Those moments in which we feel so weak and we are so down, heart full of hurt and mind full of anger and pain.

Why do we feel this?

The root of all the sufferings is attachment. I never realised this until I experienced this in my life, we get attached and then without even knowing we start expecting that same attachment from the other person. Expectation doesn’t hurt, but expecting from the wrong person does. Even a person isn’t wrong or right, when we get attached to someone, we can’t expect from the other person to reciprocate the same.

What I am implying with all of this?

Love the one that is you!!

Although I need to learn this myself, and I am learning this everyday, the cardinal thing in life we all need to learn is to love this one person in our life who is most important, and that is US. We need to learn to love ourself and live for ourself.
To accept that it’s only us who can be there for us and no one else will be. We aren’t alone ever, we always have us, ourself.We don’t need anyone to get dependent on, just faith and believe in ourself.
To learn that we don’t need anyone to make us feel whole because we are never incomplete, we are complete on our own. We don’t need to find happiness in someone else, it’s within us, we just need to explore it and accept that we can be happy on our own as well. Yes, we all feel shattered and broken, but that’s okay, to be broken means we can heal.
To know that, the home we try to find or built in someone else is not to be found because it’s there in you!! Look deep within in your heart. Pull yourself up and smile, because that’s what we need to do. Smile and face the world and accept the truth,
Love isn’t something we need to find in someone else, it’s there within you.
It’s difficult but it’s the only truth!! That someone is always you and no one else!!

@thelostsoul

Image: google

Posted in #blogging, #Poetry, Heart, Love, Strength, Writing

Beautiful Purple Sky

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I was just walking by
While turning towards my house
I just looked at the sky
Just like that
I felt something,
Like the sky talking to me
Something moved I felt
And a ping of pain in my heart
The sky looked the same
As it was the day, that day we met.

I lost my way then
For I forgot where I was coming from
Or going to?
Is that my home?
Or was it you?
Now you aren’t with me, do I have any?
Any home?

My heart screamed!!
No one heard though
My eyes were searching
Something? Or you?
I looked at the sky again
Is it same ? Or is it changed?
It isn’t that anymore
Isn’t it?
Because you aren’t that anymore,
I saw it changing colours
Just like you,
The pinkish hue
Turned some pale
Like me!

Was I lost? Or did I loose you?
Or did I loose my mind?
Was it just me? Or I saw?
I saw the sky crying
Felt some tears,
From my eyes?
Or was it rain?
That pain knocked again
Which I thought have gone?

Why do I feel lost? When,
When there’s nothing I did lost
Loosing you? You never really did
Exist for me but yourself!!
I was here then
And I was alone
I knew how to walk
I know how to move on, on my own
And though I thought I made you,
You never were my home!!

There it was,
I got my way again
With the moving sky
Turning shades
Changing colours
While moving ahead
I recognise that smile
The one before you,
Or anyone else
I looked at the sky for one last time
I knew this colour
This colour,
I know I was moving in the right direction
The sky smiled
And I smiled at it too,
And I smiled some more
Under this new
This new, beautiful,
Beautiful Purple Sky!!!

The Lost Soul 

Image: Google

Posted in #life, #Poetry, Strength, Writing

She…The immortal Her…

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She is still
But that darkness within her
Screams,scream, screaming

That chaos inside
Screeches, screeching
She stares in the silence
Towards nihility
Blank,black gazing in nothingness

Something within her
Engulfs her and her thoughts
Deluge,deluging in hurt

She is still
That rage of emotions
Pulling her inside
Her storm boiling within
Towards the mountain and to her
Oscillating between

She is still
Like a calm sea
Before the arrival of tsunami
Her heart shuddering

Shivering
With the emptiness
Empty,empty,emptying

She is still
But she smiles
Mixed with the agony
She survives the suffering
She no more laments
But with the open arms
She embraces the hurt
That lava of anguish
No more kills her
She won’t sink
She dives deep within
The abyss of pain
And she rise
For now she know
How to emerge!!

She becomes the storm
She rules the darkness
With her chaos
She isn’t still anymore
She isn’t calm like that ocean
For she becomes the Destruction
She is the raging ocean
She isn’t still
She moves with the waters
Ruling the tides
She isn’t still
She isn’t still….

The Lost Soul

Image: Google

Posted in #blogging, #life, Self love, Strength, Writing

Perfectly Flawed

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“She got that sexy figure”
“Oh her perfect curves”
“Eww! How could be anyone that thin?!”
“She needs to workout on her”
“Oh! How fair she is”
“Will you ever get someone? With this complexion of yours? “

These are few of the random things knowingly or unknowingly, intentionally or unintentionally we speak or hear or use. There’s a thin line between complimenting and commenting and people often forget that.

I have been dealing with inferiority complex issues all my life. And then anxiety due to that, Not feeling happy in my skin. I always had problems with how I look or my complexion or my hair or my weight and somehow it was all connected with the fact that I often heard such expressions around me, for me,and it started to creep in my personality. I always thought I am not good enough.

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I am not here to talk about my problem or my issues or to discuss about body shaming but their were so many thoughts in my mind and I just felt like sharing them here.

Beauty is something over rated in our society from centuries and is mostly connected to the second sex, yes that’s what we were called, females.
And we girls often just give in to this thing which we are taught from the beginning like being a girl we have to look pretty all the time. We just start believing in what is there already  and we are never taught to question it.
I am not denying that males aren’t body shamed but not as much as a female.

Where does the problem lies?

Problem is Us believing.
Our belief  in the things which we are told about and taught. And us not questioning it. Why don’t we question why a girl need to look pretty? Why a girl with curves is sexy? Or why a girl with bigger breasts or large butts is hot? And why a girl with a tummy isn’t pretty? And why a girl with fair complexion is treated as angelic? Or why all of these are just attached with only the females?

The point I am focusing on isn’t that one should not maintain their health and fitness or look pretty, but what I mean is that it should be done but not for others and definitely not on the cost of deteriorating one’s mental health.
Girls start to have inferiority complex issues that create a deep impact on their personality from their teenage years which actually affect their lives till later stage in so many ways.
It creates complication for a girl in the personal front as a girl with such issues will always have a thought in mind Am I good enough? And questioning self worth is the worst thing a person could do to torture oneself.

What I want to focus here on is the fact that being beautiful will not have any importance unless that beauty doesn’t make you feel complete and whole in what and who you are. It won’t matter how thin or how sexy curves you have when to achieve that you lost your happiness and mental health or deprived yourself of the sleep or food that made you happy.
Everyone has flaws and the existence of humanity lies in the fact that we are tend to be flawed and no one has any right to question someone’s appearance in terms of their own set standards.
A Flaw for some may be a beauty for another.
No matter how you look, what colour your skin is or what weight you have or what size until the fact that it makes you smile  and feel comfortable and a satisfaction of you being you and that too whole.

As an individual what we need to learn is to love and accept  the fact that this is what we are and come in terms to whatever we are and embrace that. We all are just flesh and bones. Yes,being healthy is important or having curves or having or doing anything that makes you look good but only  till the point that it makes you feel cheerful  within you and your soul.

As a part of society what everyone need to learn is not to comment or compliment someone in a way that makes them think over it. That makes them question their individuality.

Being myself suffering from these issues have actually made me realise some of these things but trust me path of loving yourself isn’t easy and every day it feels like a defeat but somehow I am managing it and somehow I am moving ahead in it. I am trying to love me more and focusing on what I can do to enhance what I have and learning to love my flaws.
Because every one is flawed and that too uniquely.

Beauty is not in being just that pretty face but it is in the eyes and the smile of the soul which appears on the curves of the lips.

The Lost Soul

Image: Google and Pinterest

Posted in #blogging, #life, Strength, Writing

Turn the pages…

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Life? What exactly is life? There is so much more in life then what we see. Life is beyond people we think are important, but they are not. Life is something we need to live and not just breathe.
There is a reason we are humans, else insects are breathing too.

A little late, but I am realising this. And learning the lessons of life bit by bit, new chapters each day. Life is about turning pages and trying to revise what we learned from the previous chapter.

Life is like different seasons and I thought it will always be harsh as winters. I forgot that it rains too. That flowers bloom after the winters. That spring comes in the city and it’s green and pink and red and yellow. Life is beautiful with or without any one. Life is something we need to look within us and instead of creating home outside, create a home within. Do not seek what you can find inside, and I am learning this.

It hurts in the nights still, but next day sun will rise and it will shine again making  that pain go numb. And it will disappear soon.

Night will be there but it will see a new dawn too, because that is inevitable. The ultimate truth is this, that the earth will still revolve and rotate and it can not be Night always. Or winter. And when we feel we are completely shattered, we start healing again. Life is about picking those shattered pieces, put them back, throw the useless one out, and make a masterpiece out of them again.

I learned this, I am still learning this. That’s why I am wandering. That’s why I am still, and everyone in one way or other is a lost soul, trying to find out what’s in life. Moving, falling, shattering, learning, healing but over all, living.

And I am what I am. And this is me..

The Lost Soul

Images: Pinterest

 

Posted in #void, Hope, Random musings, Strength, Writing

The feeling…that stays.

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Life goes on with or without anyone. Life doesn’t stop for anyone. Really? Is that so? Well life actually stops. I mean right, you live your life, you can’t stop doing that but there is something that’s missing and you can’t really help it. You miss the presence of that one person in your life. That person keeps on revolving in your mind day and night and midnight.

You wake up suddenly and there is this pain, you can’t help but cry. Because even in your sleep your mind kept wandering and reaching out to those parts you tried to hide somewhere. They reach out to you  and then the wounds and it hit you exactly in the guts and you feel helpless and broke. You can’t do anything about it.

Life moves on. Right. It’s just you that stops and stuck and shackled.

Even though I came back, I can’t return completely because I just can not. Though I won’t stop trying.

And I will keep on fighting each day with myself.
I don’t need anybody but me and I am learning this each day.

Like the sun and the moon and the star, I will Shine with my own light and I will have my heat and I will burn this world to ashes…to create my own.

Till then I will be Me..and I am enough.. I will be there..and I will find me..
Until then
I am

The Lost Soul

Image : artpal.com (Google)

Posted in #Poetry, #void, Heart broken, Hope, Lost love, Strength, Writing

She. A Catastrophe.

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She don’t see any light
No more she can fight
She accepts her defeat
Love is lost
Winner is Deceit
All the false promises
And the fabricated stories
All the dreams
Were no more
Then a lure
To destroy her
For him,
To devour
Ravaged
She was left,
Destroyed
She thought him
To be Rain
She wanted to be soused in,
Oh but he was
A tornado
To devastate
Her within
And he did.

There is this Calm
She looks Tranquil
As the sea
But it’s chaos
In her
That no one can see
There’s a tsunami
That’s building
Now a Deal
She signed
With the devil
No more
She worries
For The consequences
She will
Wreck havoc
She isn’t the same
But She is
A walking Mayhem
Sleeping
In quietude
Were
Her inner demons
Wide awake now
With the broken pieces
Of her shattered soul
She will shriek
Deafening all
But for now
Let her cry
Let her cry
She will drown
Herself
In her tears
And her sorrows too
Then she will
Levitate
Torments
Tortures
Suffering
Afflictions
She will Eliminate.
Wait for her
Wait for her
This is just
An Eclipse
She will come
Out of her shadows
She isn’t An Angel
No
Not Anymore
She
Is A Rising Apocalypse.

The Lost Soul.

Image: Google.

Posted in #life, Hope, Strength

Some thoughts!

 

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This is going to be a long post than my usual.
So today is this little cuties birthday, and she is just so cute. I fell in love with her cuteness head over heels. But oh she isn’t all cute and sweet, she is a bomb in that sweet little image of hers. Meet Seema. Don’t go with that cute face, she asked me if she could discipline the class, and I was amazed, this cutie pie will manage the class. I gave her permission, oh she little boss.
Oh she walk with such poise.
She is so small, she is so bossy!
Bossing around other students, ordering them to keep quiet. This cute little girl of 7.
I love all the children, but this girl today took my heart!
I came to know through a colleague of mine, she lost her father few moths back, and that just made me cry for this sweetheart. And the fact she know it so well and accepted it so bravely, just took me by Awe!
I don’t know I just felt oceans of love for this girl.
Sitting at my place, I start to think that little soul, doesn’t know a thing about world, but she surely know Death! She knows where her father is, and a thought penetrated my mind,
What do we as adults do? Cry over a loss of a person, who just left for the sake of their happiness?
Sulk over that person who probably never deserved us?
Lament that loss which is not really a loss?
Whine and whine about that, which is nothing in reality!
Yes the heartbreak is damn torturing, yes the nights are anguishing, yes at moments life seems to end! Everything cease to exist but? For what? For whom?
Death is the inevitable truth. She, this cute teeny weeny girl today, made me realise the fact I thought we all should learn.
Face the hurt and pain, with a stone face. Smile, what so ever come. Walk on. Move on. Move forward.
Nothing in this world stays.
Nor the love, neither any living being.
But my dear friend life is important. We don’t die once, but we live once. And living and existing are two different things.
Don’t just exist! Live!
Don’t just Breathe, Inhale the beauty of world, and Exhale that unnecessary stupid things from within and then see the world, it will be Amazing than ever.
( I need to really apply these, though, I know I know, I preach more and apply so little 😔 I will try! Phew ☺️)

That’s it for today.

PS: I asked for the picture from her, and she said, yes yes, take my picture today is my birthday after all. I love this cutie. ❤️img_53751.jpgGod bless this pure and innocent soul.

Posted in Hope, Strength

Ravaged.

Deserted

Dejected

Damaged

Distressed

Her world

Her life

Came crashing down

Her entire being,

Drowned

Dissolved

In a

Sudden sorrow

She

Stands still

Trying to

Take in,

Absorbing all

Air around,

Ended

Everything,

Ever she had.

No it can not be

Never!! She exclaimed,

Tears through

Eyes

Thoughts

Trickling through her

Soul,

She is burning

Like Inferno,

She breathes

Living

Not dead,

will live

She will collect

The ashes,

And she will live

Again,

She will shine,

Realised,

Remembered,

Revised

Her strength

Her power

Her worth,

The Ravaged

Phoenix,

Will fly,

Through the Flames

Into the Blaze.

Image: google.