“She got that sexy figure”
“Oh her perfect curves”
“Eww! How could be anyone that thin?!”
“She needs to workout on her”
“Oh! How fair she is”
“Will you ever get someone? With this complexion of yours? “
These are few of the random things knowingly or unknowingly, intentionally or unintentionally we speak or hear or use. There’s a thin line between complimenting and commenting and people often forget that.
I have been dealing with inferiority complex issues all my life. And then anxiety due to that, Not feeling happy in my skin. I always had problems with how I look or my complexion or my hair or my weight and somehow it was all connected with the fact that I often heard such expressions around me, for me,and it started to creep in my personality. I always thought I am not good enough.
I am not here to talk about my problem or my issues or to discuss about body shaming but their were so many thoughts in my mind and I just felt like sharing them here.
Beauty is something over rated in our society from centuries and is mostly connected to the second sex, yes that’s what we were called, females.
And we girls often just give in to this thing which we are taught from the beginning like being a girl we have to look pretty all the time. We just start believing in what is there already and we are never taught to question it.
I am not denying that males aren’t body shamed but not as much as a female.
Where does the problem lies?
Problem is Us believing.
Our belief in the things which we are told about and taught. And us not questioning it. Why don’t we question why a girl need to look pretty? Why a girl with curves is sexy? Or why a girl with bigger breasts or large butts is hot? And why a girl with a tummy isn’t pretty? And why a girl with fair complexion is treated as angelic? Or why all of these are just attached with only the females?
The point I am focusing on isn’t that one should not maintain their health and fitness or look pretty, but what I mean is that it should be done but not for others and definitely not on the cost of deteriorating one’s mental health.
Girls start to have inferiority complex issues that create a deep impact on their personality from their teenage years which actually affect their lives till later stage in so many ways.
It creates complication for a girl in the personal front as a girl with such issues will always have a thought in mind Am I good enough? And questioning self worth is the worst thing a person could do to torture oneself.
What I want to focus here on is the fact that being beautiful will not have any importance unless that beauty doesn’t make you feel complete and whole in what and who you are. It won’t matter how thin or how sexy curves you have when to achieve that you lost your happiness and mental health or deprived yourself of the sleep or food that made you happy.
Everyone has flaws and the existence of humanity lies in the fact that we are tend to be flawed and no one has any right to question someone’s appearance in terms of their own set standards.
A Flaw for some may be a beauty for another.
No matter how you look, what colour your skin is or what weight you have or what size until the fact that it makes you smile and feel comfortable and a satisfaction of you being you and that too whole.
As an individual what we need to learn is to love and accept the fact that this is what we are and come in terms to whatever we are and embrace that. We all are just flesh and bones. Yes,being healthy is important or having curves or having or doing anything that makes you look good but only till the point that it makes you feel cheerful within you and your soul.
As a part of society what everyone need to learn is not to comment or compliment someone in a way that makes them think over it. That makes them question their individuality.
Being myself suffering from these issues have actually made me realise some of these things but trust me path of loving yourself isn’t easy and every day it feels like a defeat but somehow I am managing it and somehow I am moving ahead in it. I am trying to love me more and focusing on what I can do to enhance what I have and learning to love my flaws.
Because every one is flawed and that too uniquely.
Beauty is not in being just that pretty face but it is in the eyes and the smile of the soul which appears on the curves of the lips.
The Lost Soul
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